I recently read a Devotional on Proverbs 31 Ministries blog titled Facing Life’s Worries With Truth by Max Lucado.
This is something the Lord has been teaching me recently. I’ve had a troubled childhood and my experiences in teen years weren’t great as well. I was always made to feel like I didn’t belong in my “friend” circle. That left me with a feeling of abandonment I didn’t realize had a foothold in me. Depression was a friend of mine because in my mind I had a constant flow of negative thoughts about myself. Low confidence and self-esteem is something I felt I was born with (sometimes still I feel this).
Still what got me through all those years was the constant support and prayers of my cousin sister who also is my spiritual mentor. Although she wasn’t aware of my self-deprecated thoughts, she would always tell me about the love Jesus has for me. And it is that love that has carried me this far.
But, last year something happened. I got to meet and amazing woman of God who carries the office of a prophet and has done pretty remarkable things for the Lord. While she was praying for me she gave me a word saying that God wants to change the dialogue I have with myself. “Stop it” she said.
This got me thinking about the way I often thought of myself. I felt unloved at times. Abandoned. Unworthy and many other such thoughts often clouded my mind. I started to monitor my thought life and found that it was out of sync with God’s word. Of course I still believed in God’s word but at times these toxic thoughts would take over and make it difficult for me to believe.
Since then I’ve had to make a constant decision to monitor my thoughts and align it with the Word of God. If ever the Liar tries to make me feel abandoned, I confess that God has promised to never leave me, nor forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6). I tell myself that His word is true. Heaven and earth will pass but His word will remain (Matthew 24:35). That yesterday, today and forever He is the same (Hebrews 13:8).
When I feel like a disappointment to the Lord I confess that The Lord will perfect that which concerns me (Psalm 138:8). He who has started a good work in me will bring it into completion until the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6).
At times when I feel unloved or unworthy I remind myself of the cross Jesus endured for me out of His great love and that He will always have my back. If an infinite God choose to dwell in a finite body and suffer afflictions on my behalf, how truly great is His love for me?
Once during my personal time of worship, the Lord placed this thought on my heart that Jesus suffered abandonment so that I may never have to face it. Remember His cry on the cross?
I would like to end with something Max Lucado says in his devotional, “Listen to yourself. Monitor your beliefs about yourself, about God and about the world. Don’t allow false assumptions to take up any space in your mind. Immediately treat them with truth.
I’m either my own worst critic or greatest cheerleader. Either I tear myself down or build myself up. The words I say can usher in fear or faith. I’ve learned to ask: Are you against you? Or are you for you?”
So many times we confess this scripture that if God is for us who can be against us, not realizing that sometimes we ourselves are against us while God is always for us.
Counter the enemy’s lie with the truth of God’s word.
I hope I was able to get my point across.